My ex-boyfriend Andrew and I made a video together about how to love unconditionally and how we learned how to do that after breaking up. I broke it up into parts (mostly based on topic) for the sake of time and because the recording got split somehow anyway. Even without fancy editing software that I don't have, I hope you appreciate the content. I believe it helps answer a lot of common questions I get. Feel free to comment and share!
There are five total videos. I will update this blog as I post each video.
Andrew and I broke up over three years ago but we remained committed to our own personal growth which kept our established friendship alive and taught us new ways to look at and experience love. This first portion is about what we have learned from failed relationships and how unconditional love can be developed.
In this clip, we discuss how confusing different types of love can create expectations that our partner may not be able to live up to.
Andrew and I discuss when it's necessary to cut ties and how creating a foundation in a relationship is vital to its continued success.
This clip discusses learning boundaries as well as the difference between enabling and helping a loved one. We also discuss how curiosity with acceptance and compassion instead of expecting something helps build a healthier bond in any relationship.
In our final clip Andrew and I discuss how we learned to handle when someone else is accusing, blaming or projecting as well as what to do when we feel triggered by someone else.
I get asked this question a lot so I thought I would make videos to help answer this question since I can't answer for each individual situation. Please let me know if you would like me to dig deeper because I would be happy to!
Part One: A common question I get is related to whether or not someone who has left a relationship will return. Some thoughts on when the 'players' in your life experience show certain patterns. This video addresses that question as well as the meaning behind the question.
Part 2: Adding some tools to help you after a breakup or separation following my previous video (linked below) addressing the common question, "How do I know if they will come back?"
"I show you what I want you to see. You see what you choose to see. So how can you believe you know even the half of me?" ~ Ms. Micah
Did you know that water in your dreams often means you need to acknowledge emotions? In dreams water will beckon you to stand in witness of your emotions; it's a call to action on your part for your greatest good.
Unprocessed or imbalanced emotions can show up in a variety of other ways such as frequently feeling anger or frustration (often associated with blame and finger pointing / victim mentality), feeling numb, feeling the need to isolate yourself, frequently feeling the need to escape. Instead of creating and having a mindful and healthy relationship with people, food, substances, alcohol, sex, gambling, social media, entertainment, etc. we use them to avoid ourselves.
How do you balance emotions? First, be willing to acknowledge them. Stand in witness of your emotions, honoring them as you recognize their transient nature. This will help you remain the observer in your experience. There is a fine line between surrender and succumbing. Get help understanding that line. The more intense you feel the more you need support; don't do it alone.
Become the master of your experience. I am a woman that grew up with the perception of emotional neglect, Developmental PTSD from childhood trauma and I grew up to know Domestic Violence, Sexual Violence, Manipulation and Gaslighting and I am here tell you that the moment you become your own master and learn to love yourself unconditionally (with boundaries even for yourself) your entire world and the people in it shift. You are no longer a victim but a Warrior filled with compassion and love. Fight for your life. You're worth it.
Nothing will replace help from mental health care professionals but there are a lot of other ways to support your journey of recovery and empowerment. What helped me? Bodywork, Coaching, studying Psychology, Creating, developing a Spiritual practice and helping others. You can emerge from old stories washed clean. Allow your will to be stronger than the things that happened to you.
Micah's confessions and lessons that have helped with self-forgiveness, healing and acceptance.