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New Moon in Aries ~ New Lunar Year

3/27/2017

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Photo by Wilson Wyatt III
This is an important time to set an intention for the next lunar year. This New Moon is in Aries and the sun is in Aries as well. My sun sign is Aries and although it isn't the strongest influence in my chart I embrace the inner child. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, related to the root chakra, foundations, renewal, rebirth and hope. Since the moon is new, beginning a new lunar cycle for the year and is in the sign that represents new beginnings there is no better time than now to get serious about what direction you want your life to go in for the rest of the year.

Aries is always playful though so look at your hopes and dreams with childlike wonder. Like a child, hold on to the belief that anything you imagine can happen. Resist the inner critic, the "logical" grown-up inside you that tries to protect you from being hurt by crushing your dreams before they even have a chance to be planted. Trust that with the right amount of faith, intention and determination you can make your dreams your reality.

When setting your intention remember that before taking any type of action make absolutely sure you are certain. Trust your instincts, be patient (Aries influence is a 'dive in head first without thinking things through' influence), embrace new ideas, have faith and lots of courage. Heal your heart, your relationships and your preconceived notions around relationships of all kinds (Venus retrograde is already forcing this right now). Then you will clearly see and feel what it is you truly want.

It's best to write your intentions down and check in with your progress throughout the 28 day lunar cycle. For now, notice any old belief, habit or pattern that has held you back or kept you in a state of fear. Without judgement release it and create a powerful intention from there. What can you be more open to?

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What Being A Woman Means To Me

3/8/2017

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It's International Woman's Day and, like most days that are celebrated, I am filled with mixed feelings about it all. I just can't help but see first the things that make us most alike and can connect us; then I see the differences. Maybe it's the naive child that lives on in me. But to appease the woman I have become and the trials I have gone through, largely because of my gender, I thought it would be a sort of purification ritual as well as a celebration of my womanhood as I feel myself transition into the archetypal crone.

For me being a woman started out as a dream of being a wife that would stay home all day and cook and maintain the household of my husband. Life decided I needed to start working at a young age and I fell in love more with working than I ever imagined I could a man. My dreams grew bigger, my heart exploded every day as I fell in love with my work, learning how to be better everyday and becoming hopelessly devoted to caring for patients. The fun I had was confusing to some, even me but I was in love. My career was my first love when I got married and my womanhood was challenged as I let my younger self down as a wife and mother.

Being a woman began to mean that I could have it all but only at the fears, insecurities and disappointment of those I loved the most and eventually me as well. Being a woman meant being incredibly creative with learning how to navigate my sanity in the vast sea of disappointment. As my heart grew more and more broken being a woman began to mean that I had to learn how to put myself back together again and love with all of the  broken pieces of my heart at the same time. 

For years, being a woman meant being punished for being sure of who I was and wanting nothing but to love people and how confusing that was to others. Being a woman, I later realized, meant that when you step in to your true power it can make the insecure forcefully pleasant or violent and the self-assured simply proud for you. Being a woman who wants secular success as well as success in love is selfish. Being a woman means you will be challenged to compromise your integrity, values, morals and even health almost daily for the sake of the male ego. 

Then one day, being a woman meant having a choice. Being a woman meant having a choice in how much I allowed pain and suffering into my life. Being a woman meant I was sensual and in love with every savory aspect of living and I could be a sexual being without needing to have sex. Being a woman meant that I didn't need to experience the act of sex to feel empowered, valued and loved. Being a woman means that you can easily confuse a man with this ability and how they respond to their confusion tells you everything you need to know about them.

Being a woman has given me the opportunity to explore my creativity from writing to photography and countless things in between as I learn to appreciate the wisdom my choices (and lack thereof) had brought me. Being a woman means that I may have to work harder to prove myself and to be taken seriously but once I do it gives me a greater sense of pride than any appreciation, commendation or opportunity that is casually handed to me would.

Being a woman has taught me that with age you can grow in deeper love or deeper bitterness and that we can choose love. Being a woman means I have a greater responsibility to use my feminine energy to nurture and compassionately care for those who are in pain because it's part of who I am. 

Being a woman showed me the honor and privilege of falling in love with a little human before anyone else could. Being a woman means I knew motherhood and a bond that lasts forever. Being a woman has filled me with pride whenever I feel my nurturing side co-existing with my creative and productive side. 

On the topic of letting go a male friend once told me that he believes women have to experience this lesson more often and on a deeper level than men ever could. What an insightful and beautiful truth! Something about the way he expressed it made me feel connected in a deeper and more meaningful way to all the other women that have ever existed. Being a woman teaches us the literal and figurative way to cut cords and the pain we go through each time.

The biggest lesson I have learned as a woman is that if it wasn't such a profound and insurmountable gift then womanhood wouldn't even be a topic of conversation. It would just 'be'. We would embrace womanhood in all it's differences from manhood. Being a woman means we get to define beauty from the inside out... in all its forms.

Womanhood is a delicate gift but society has a way of telling us that manhood and all of its ways are all that can be heard, respected and appreciated so women try to learn the language of men.  Women become louder, more creative, more clever, more successful only so that we can feel more comfortable being ourselves. Being a woman means making a conscious choice to be uncomfortable almost every single day in order to hopefully feel comfortable in our workplace, home, on the street, or anywhere in public. Being a woman means being as uncomfortable as possible for our daughters, our nieces, and all the little girls that don't quite know the battle they were born into. Being a woman means that we are meant to bring the world together, not tear it further apart.

When women step into their true feminine power they become a powerful and compassionate force that will help us learn to work together, cooperatively. 

What does being a woman mean to the other women reading? Message me or comment!

Nothing like a professional photoshoot to help you embrace who you are and who you are becoming in all of our sensual elegance. Visit my friend Kim's site if you're in the Phoenix area! ​Good Vibes Photography
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Venus Retrograde Brings the In-Between

3/5/2017

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Artwork by: http://serafleur.deviantart.com/

Venus Retrograde officially began on March 4th this year but it entered the shadow zone January 30th. It began hitting me hard about a week before the 4th though. Maybe it's because my ruling planet is Venus (in Taurus) or maybe it's my imagination... Either way I feel as though my life was a particular way and then in the last week I found out I live in a giant snow globe and some unseeable force shook it up and I'm still floating in the air watching life happen around me but unable to touch or interact with any of it. Is anyone else feeling this way?

I suppose the point of periods like this is to force us to see how disconnected we have become, whether it's from others or ourselves and it's time we take a long hard look at where we are at in life and how we got there and whether we want to remain. I am privy to and witnessing major life events that I must keep to myself. I see people I have been closest to step into phases of their life that they had worked for and dreamed of for as long as I have known them (some of them waiting decades) and feel every emotion I never allowed myself to feel.

This is most difficult when you are forced to realize that no matter how much work you have done on yourself or on your personal healing or growth you have still sacrificed more of yourself than you realized and you are left with the question "for what?" You can have a sense of accomplishment when it's a child you have invested so much in and you can rest in pride that you did all you could in the best way you knew how but everything else feels empty and any sense of purpose you once thought you had has vanished.

Yes we must allow the tears to flow. Mourn what might have been. Mourn time that now feels lost and meaningless. Mourn dreams and hopes that now only feel like childish fantasies. You can remind yourself that the unhealthy ego needs purpose, needs to feel as though you can add meaning to the world around you but when you find yourself in the in-between you succumb to the most primal part of who you are. The in-between forces you to look at life and all your choices from a sense of survival rather than a sense of perspective. You must face everything you have feared and why you hung on to so much only because of those fears and then you must release them. Everything you hoped, everything you believed mattered, everything you dreamt floats away with all the little plastic flecks of snow in this thick watery globe that still feels upside-down. You must throw your arms out and surrender to the in-between and the discomfort of not knowing when you will land or where, reserving any shred of faith you have left for yourself and how you will stand on your own two feet once more. You've been here before and you will likely be here again.

But just for today, I want to blame Venus for forcing this all on me at once. I will thank her for this no doubt but for now I just want to curse it all while at the same time wishing everyone leaving on their own adventures the very best. Mostly I'm thankful if those I love are feeling anything other than what I feel now.

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    Micah ~

    Micah's confessions and lessons that have helped with self-forgiveness, healing and acceptance.
    ​These are the things that have helped Micah discover deeper depths of love and more meaningful connections.

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